Power couple
by Republic of Yolossia
Summary: 3 times Logan was a stupid fuck and one time Eduard was.


_Logan - Australia_

 _Eduard - Estonia_

 _Muliyan - Murrawarri Republic_

 _Tilly - Yidinji_

 _Harry - Atlantium_

* * *

 _Dumb thing written because asktheboganman and asksongbird are a thing and it's taken over my life. Australia/Estonia is my new OTP rip. Warning for injuries._

* * *

"Are you really gonna fuss over a scraped knee?"

Eduard's glare told him that yes, yes he was, so Logan decided to shut up.

"You need to be more careful though," Eduard scolded as he cleaned the knee, "you'll make me worried."

Logan just grinned at him. He was ignored.

He groaned and threw his head back lazily, sprawled out on the dirt next to the caravan. The sun was glaring down on him, and he thought he was having a pretty good time, all things considered.

He really did like how Eduard worried for him. Not in a way that made him look for trouble, rather in a way that let him know he was cared for, that someone other than his kids would miss him if he died permanently. Except, it wasn't some dangerous superhero antic that had landed him a scraped knee, it was chasing Muliyan around the garden, before he figured out how to open the bottle of weed killer he was holding.

Luckily, when the toddler wandered over to check if he was okay, Logan had been able to wrestle the bottle from his hands. Whilst lying in the foetal position. And swearing. The kids knew only he was allowed to swear, and that swearing was the only good thing to look forward to about growing up, so it was all chill. Eduard came to investigate at some point during the screaming match that ensued.

"Now there's no need for that!" He said the moment he noticed Eduard had produced a box of plasters from a pocket.

"Hey, only I'm allowed to fuss," Eduard snapped.

"No, really, it'll be fine in a sec," he insisted, "a plaster might fuck it up." Even as he spoke, they could both see the wound getting smaller, closing in as brown skin knitted itself over red. "See?"

"Fine, I'll let you off this time;" Eduard placed the little plaster back inside its box – one of many they kept around the house for the children… and apparently Logan, the giant manbaby. "I suppose there's nothing left to do but kiss it better." And he did just that, pressing his lips to Logan's knee.

"Fuck, I should've broke my dick."

"Very funny, so funny I forgot to laugh." He was still wearing his withering glare, like he was about to launch into a rant about how Logan needed to be more careful, which Logan would have loved, but he loved it a little too much and Muliyan was still nearby, eyeing the bottle of weed killer mischievously.

He could tell by the glint in Eduard's eyes that he knew it was coming. Or maybe it was the sun on his glasses as Logan moved forward to kiss him. The corner of his glasses poked him in the brow, again, but he didn't care. He sucked on Eduard's lip gently before pulling away. A smirk watched Eduard's blush as Logan himself held the weedkiller above his head.

* * *

"Okay, am I allowed to fuss now?" said Eduard, whilst fussing.

Logan looked at his dislocated shoulder and winced. "Nah, yeah, fair enough." His arm might have a fracture too, it was hard to tell through all the pain.

"What gets me is the fact that you decided to come here instead of going to the ER," Eduard continued as he lead Logan inside, thankfully not judging him for the black eye and bust lip. He did look concerned though. "Unless you need me to drive you."

"That too."

"Do I want to know where this is going?" Despite how Logan calmly moved to lie on the futon, Eduard grabbed his coat and began to look for a pair of shoes.

"Listen, the hospital is on the other side of town, right?"

"Yes?" He drew the word out; what did it matter? It needed professional attention.

"Well, my healing process is stupid fast and I think I'll be all fixed before I get to the hospital," he bit his lip, "I just don't know if it'll heal properly."

Eduard paused. "You… won't heal properly?"

Logan shrugged with his remaining shoulder. "There's a chance. I heal fast but if my parts aren't in the right place it could get messy. I usually get Harry to do it but…"

"My place was nearer," he sighed and shrugged off his coat. "Talk me through it." He really didn't look comfortable. In fact, he looked on the verge of passing out.

"Didn't think you could get paler," Logan commented before wincing. "Okay, you have to be slow, but firm. No sudden movements."

"No innuendo?"

"I'm fucking wankered right now, but it still hurts."

"Oh my, that bad, huh?" Eduard knelt beside him, "what do I do?" He still didn't look certain, but he gave a determined nod regardless.

"Take my arm, by the wrist," Logan smiled when he felt his boyfriend's fingers wrap around his wrist; it made him feel safe, just for a second. "Right, now slowly bring it up, so it's, erm, 90 degrees from my body."

"You don't sound so sure."

"Trust me; I've done this a lot."

Eduard looked at him in horror. "That is highly concerning!"

"I am highly concerning. Now do it- argh!"

"Right, on it!" Eduard licked his lips, told his heart to not jump out of his mouth and slowly began moving Logan's arm. His boyfriend's face screwed up in pain, but Logan insisted he didn't stop. But that expression…

"When you're weary," he began, voice shaking, "feeling small, when tears are in your eyes…" Logan exhaled, smiling up at him. "I will dry them all, I'm on your side…"

He continued moving Logan's arm higher, singing all the while. "Like a bridge over troubled water, I will lay me down."

He heard – or felt – a noise between and clunk and a pop, and Logan moaned in relief, closing his eyes as he finally let himself relax. Eduard, slowly, brought the arm back down to lie next to its owner, then turned around to pump the air.

Wheeling back round, he caught Logan grinning up at him, and promptly buried his face in his hands.

"Dork."

"I know. So did the singing work?"

"So that's what it was? Shit babe, I knew I was being hypnotised, but I thought it was from staring in your eyes. I wasn't- I'm not saying you were a bad singer, though. You're fucking fantastic!"

Eduard raised an eyebrow. "That was smooth." They lovingly stared into each other's eyes.

"Yeah, I wish my shits were that smooth all the time."

And there went the moment, chased off by fucking Logan and his potty mouth again. It was a talent, really, on the same level as Eduard and his programming. He could only dread to think what he would be like on their wedding day.

Not that he'd thought about their wedding day. Lovingly. Whilst browsing Pinterest. They'd both look so handsome! Would he be allowed to make it Star Wars themed? And the kids would look adorable!

And then become… his step-kids? A strange thought. He was too young to be having teenage children.

"Did you become hypnotised by my incredible sense of humour?" Eduard jumped, grinning down at Logan's stupid smirk.

"Sure thing, tough guy," his knees cracked as he crouched next to the futon.

"Haha, you're old," Logan joked, wearily like he wanted nothing more than to fall asleep.

Eduard snorted. "Okay, then what are you?"

"Fucking well old." He laughed. "Erm, no point in me going to the hospital now. Mind if I crash here for an hour or so?"

"Yes, but no funny business," Eduard warned, "don't want you dislocating anything. Again."

"And afterwards?"

"You're gross," Eduard kissed his forehead regardless, "maybe we should give it a few hours at least. Have a nap beforehand."

Logan stared at him. "Are you going to study my regeneration while I'm asleep again?"

"Maybe."

"…Okay, cool."

* * *

"What the fuck?"

There were few things Logan was certain of: he loved his kids and would die for them; he and Eduard were deeply in love; and Eduard only swore when he was having an emotion. He didn't, however, know if he should run or hug him.

"What's wrong?" he asked, going for cautious but it came out casual.

" What's wrong ?" Eduard screeched, "there's an axe poking out of your forehead and you're just sitting there reading the newspaper like that's a normal fucking thing to happen!"

"I'll have you know I'm reading playboy, it's just I don't want Tilly seeing;" he nodded at his toddler, who was currently ripping up a roll of toilet paper.

"And the axe?" He looked like he was about to faint at this point.

"Fought a villain," he shrugged, and Eduard had to check it wasn't a weapon he'd sold to anyone. No, just a regular axe, thankfully. "Hey, now that you're here, reckon you could pull it out? Harry's staying over at a friend's, I think. She's not here anyway."

"I'm- no!"

"Why? Got a weak pullout game?"

Eduard glared at him.

"Can I play weak pullout game?" asked Tilly, and Logan screamed.

"Tilly! You're not allowed to say that! That's a grown up thing!"

Tilly huffed, kicked the shredded toilet roll, and stormed off into her bedroom. Logan simply nodded in agreement.

"So yeah, could you just pull the thing out? It's buried in my frontal lobe and I'm fucking spaced out. Can't remember jack since I got axed."

"I'm shocked that you know what the frontal lobe is, nevermind its function."

"It's not funny, Edvi- fucking – Edward… babe? I haven't felt this un-horny since I was like 12!"

Eduard tried his very best to ignore the fact that Logan had almost called him Edvin. "Why are you reading playboy then?"

"Can't I 'preciate fine art?"

Eduard groaned. He wasn't even going to grace that with a reply. "What do you want me to do?"

"Fucking- I dunno. Take the axe and pull it out?"

"And then?"

"Fucking- do I look like I know?"

Eduard was gonna pull that axe out of his forehead and smack him with it. Instead, he rooted around for a roll of un-ripped toilet paper to patch up the bleeding. Was this his life now?

"Okay, hold still," wad of toilet paper in one hand, the other holding onto the axe, Eduard braced himself for a gory sight. Using all the muscle and stomach strength he had, Eduard wrenched the thing out. He didn't give himself time to look at anything before pressing the paper to Logan's forehead. He saw a mess of red out of the corner of his eye, but there was no way he was looking.

"Ah fuck it hurts," Logan whined, "fucking- there's stuff everywhere!"

"You don't need to tell me!"

"Eddo, get a towel! Quick!"

Thankful for a reason to be out of the room, Eduard dashed into the bathroom again, shouting at Tilly to stay in her room and grabbing a towel. He practically threw the thing at Logan, covering his eyes with a cry.

"I'm decent."

Eduard – tentatively – prized his hands from his eyes. Logan was holding the towel to his head, covered in blood, but there was no longer a stream of, eugh, stuff, coming from his forehead. He gave a sheepish smile, and Eduard couldn't help but smile back.

"You feeling better?" he asked.

"Nope. I'm in unimaginable pain. But I think my brain's growing back."

"Can't take long." Why was he being a dick right now? Oh right, because sarcasm was an instinct to him at this point. "Sorry."

"It's cool. My skin's so thick you apparently need to hurl an axe at it," Logan laughed, and immediately screamed in pain.

"Loges!" Eduard was by his side in a second, hand on his considerably larger one, squeezing it, just begging that he was being some small comfort. Reassurance? Please, he had to be able to do something.

"I'm okay," he hissed, "don't worry."

"I just saw your brain tissue! Of course I'm worrying," he kissed Logan's shoulder, because as much as he wanted to comfort the guy, he wasn't going near that face for a few hours.

"Don't wor-"

"Don't stress yourself out worrying about my worrying! You're always worrying about me; I wanna be here for you."

Maybe Logan might have tried to argue for the sake of arguing, but another wave of pain seemed to wash over him and he doubled over.

"It'll be over soon," Eduard rubbed his back. Maybe. They didn't know everything about each other's powers yet, but from what he'd seen, Logan's healing powers were pretty freaking fast.

An hour. He only needed an hour to recover from an axe to the face. Eduard had to be impressed at that, and made a mental note in the back of his mind, along with everything else he knew so far about Logan's powers.

The first demonstration he'd gotten of these absurd powers was Logan shooting himself point blank in the brain. Of course, if he'd told Eduard what he was doing in advance, he might not have screamed at the sight of his boyfriend blowing his brains out.

The fucking idiot.

Logan had come round within five minutes, and by then Eduard's brain had helpfully reminded him that the guy couldn't really die. It was fascinating to watch his skull repair itself and spit the bullet back out, then he woke up like he'd simply passed out drunk on Ed's floor.

The floor now covered in blood.

He had made sure to let Logan know he was never to do that again, though if someone else hurt him, he was always welcome to recuperate – or re-cooper-ate – at Ed's place. And ever since, he'd hoped that would never happen. It was another thing to have nightmares about, but he was almost glad for something new and refreshing at this point.

When Logan turned back to smile at him, he was completely healed. There was still blood on his face, but it wasn't pouring out of him.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Loges, you had your head split open and you're asking me if I'm okay?"

He shrugged. "Well I didn't have to see how gross it looked." He pulled Eduard into a hug, and Eduard realised just how much he was shaking. He hoped Logan wouldn't notice, but that was impossible so he just let the moment happen, burying his face in Logan's chest.

"Logan…"

"Yes, babe?"

"Go take a bath."

* * *

Feeling vulnerable again was certainly unwelcome.

Knowing he couldn't permanently die was a safety net he grew so used to that, sometimes, he forgot it wasn't the same case for everyone else. Everyone he loved, everyone he cared for, were so fragile they could die tomorrow, and never come back. He'd never gotten so much as a cold, so when his kids became ill, he worried more than a normal parent. If one of them was injured, he didn't know what to do. The problem was, the more enemies he made, the more danger his family was put in, the more likely it was that someone would take their revenge; if they couldn't kill Logan, they could make him wish he was dead.

And now he'd dragged Eduard into this, just like he'd dragged Hunapo and Reilly and Harriet into this shitty life. Would everyone he loved end up like this?

Eduard was scarily still, pale like a papery ghost and even his hair seemed drained of all colour. The only splash against the white sheets and room were his bruised, split knuckles. It was almost amusing, to think Eduard of all people would use his fists to defend him.

Eduard wasn't a fighter, truly, though his body was still holding on.

With 5 stab wounds to the chest, he wouldn't be too surprised if Eduard fell apart before his eyes. Someone was willing to do that for him? Logan couldn't get hurt, not really; just what had Ed been playing at?

He'd have to ask him when he was conscious.

Eduard had come round before, on occasion when he visited. He never said anything, and it was barely for a few minutes, but it was something.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, "I'm so fucking sorry." He was powerless, and it was all his fault. He didn't know what possessed Ed to throw himself in front of him, but he must have been terrified to act so… irrationally. The guy liked his brain to work like a computer – a powerful one, not his old piece of shit that was almost as old as Harry, so to forget Logan couldn't die…

"You really gotta stop saying that."

Logan glanced up, dropping the bruised hand he was holding a little too tightly. Eduard was smiling at him with heavy eyes and cracked lips.

"Ed, babe, you're awake?"

He tried to shrug. "I might be having a weird coma dream. Maybe you're hallucinating. Maybe both," he took a deep, shuddering breath, "maybe I've been in a coma for years and you lost track of time and reality trying to get through to me." Even that ramble seemed to have exhausted him, and every breath looked like absolute agony. And yet, he continued on his cuntish ramble.

"I'm so sorry," he was on his feet now, stroking Eduard's hair out of his eyes.

"Stop saying that," his eyes scanned the room, "I overheard some of the nurses… a few think you did this. Made up the story about the guy trying to kill you, and stuff."

"What? Why?" How in the- Logan could never hurt him! Fucking hell he felt awful enough for existing if it meant Ed put his existence on the line for him.

"You seem sorry, and you look like you would, apparently," he frowned, "I don't know what they mean, but I've never been well enough to defend you. Yet."

Logan buried that spark of outrage in his chest. "Don't worry, I can defend myself." He paused. "Speaking of which, why would you do this?"

Eduard shrugged.

"Ed, I thought I was going to lose you," he took his hand again, gentle and careful not to touch any of the scabs and bruises. "It's nothing to me to die for you, but you have one shot at life."

Another shrug. "Your kids need you. Can't be there for them if you're too busy coming back to life."

"The point is I can come back to life." He brushed Eduard's hair out of his eyes. "You can't, and fucking hell I can't even believe you're alive now." He moved closer as nurses walked past, one stopping to change his IV fluid and check how he was, if he was in any pain. They gave him a dose of morphine. And another.

"I don't know how I'm alive now either," Eduard admitted when they were alone again. "Kinda wish I wasn't."

Logan's stomach dropped several storeys. "What do you mean?"

"I'm just in so much pain. But I'm glad you don't have to feel it, so that's something."

"I'd have felt it for a few hours; it's nothing."

Eduard smiled. "I'm still glad." The two fell into an uncomfortable silence.

"I was… illogical."

Eduard's words made Logan jump. "No fucking kidding, Spock."

"When… when that guy attacked you, when I saw the knife, I forgot about your powers," Eduard refused to look at him, "I even forgot I was supposed to be scared of violence."

"Brave."

"I was scared though," Eduard managed a glance before he sent his eyes back to his hands, "the idea of losing you – and your pain - scared me so much, I forgot to be scared of anything else. Even dying."


End file.
